Better with Regret
In my book Cultivate, I tell the story of Pete. Pete was not always a model employee. To quote Pete: “The first time I worked here three years ago, I acted like a spoiled brat. I complained, I moaned, I criticized and grumbled almost every day. I kept thinking everybody owed me something. So, I quit here and went to work across town pouring concrete, making really good money.” The next job did not work out any better, and he was let go because he had an attitude problem that he did not see as a problem.
Before long, with a child on the way and bills rising, Pete swallowed some pride and went back to his old job…under one condition. His supervisor required he take a leadership course that shined a light on the root cause of his unhappiness at work – any work, anywhere. His attitude was a problem, but one that he could fix!
Daniel Pink in his book The Power of Regret: How Looking Backward Moves Us Forward, concludes that the act of regretting an action (or attitude) can almost always elevate performance. Once we are aware of the role we play in determining our own success we can reflect on and revise our methods, our strategies, which improves performance.
Pete’s attitude led him to leave a job only to be let go at another. When he took the time to regret his attitude, to look at the “what ifs” (What if I had a better attitude? What could I have done to be a better leader/employee?) he figured out: “I am responsible for me and my attitude, regardless of what happens.”
As Leaders, employees, parents, and community members we are not perfect, and we suffer the consequences. Fortunately, we have built into our humanness, the ability to regret, which works like a psychological anti-virus if we use it the right way. Regret allows us to reflect on what went wrong and can motivate us into new actions.
Go be better,
Jeff
